“OU-GH.” I wake up to a throbbing pain within my head. It feels as though I have a hangover trying to punish me for partying too much last night, however I hadn't had a sip of alcohol last night. I rummage around my tiny, hard and uncomfortable bed searching for my phone. My phone shines brightly into my face making me hiss of discomfort, however at that moment my hiss turns into a howl remembering what made last night such a blur. I re-read the text message sent by my boyfriend's mother “Hello Callie, I thought it would be best for you to hear this from me before the news, It pains me to say this as much as it will be for you to read it, Arthur…well he got into a crash with a drunk driver last night and he died on sight. He's dead.”
I throw my phone across the room and scream in agony, disbelief, and guilt. I try standing but my body is shaking and my whole world is spinning in circles uncontrollably until I fall down. I open my eyes to my mother and my manager (Emily) sitting next to me with water and cold towels. When I sit up they both hug me tight for what feels like eternity. Emily breaks the silence in the room “I'm so sorry Callie. For this to happen to you while you were away is heartbreaking and I feel like a horrible person for asking, but I need to know if you're able to perform tonight?”
My Mom looks as though she is about to say something but also looks as if a demon overtook her, so I put my hand on my mom's shoulder and cut her off from talking “I need to perform - I need to perform for him.”
I close my eyes and block the world out remembering all our good moments together. The next thing I know I am standing backstage in my black jeans, babydoll tank top, and pink converse with my hair in two long wavy pigtails. I breathe deeply, close my eyes and walk on stage. I feel the arena vibrating from the loud cheers. When I open my eyes a tear falls down my face. The arena is dark but all the white lights from their flashlights wave from side to side leading me to see the arena was full. Fog rolled at my feet and as I walk to the middle of the stage each step gets heavier on the heart but lighter in my feet. I reach for the mic and everything, everyone goes quiet as though the world stops for this one moment. “ This feeling right now is a feeling I believe to be the best feeling in the world!” Everyone screams. I look at my mom and she smiles back at me. “However-”
The whole arena goes quiet and dark. “Last night I died. I didn't die physically but a part of me wishes I did. My Bestfriend, My soulmate, the one I called mine, died.”
Tears run off my face like I'm a faucet but I continue to push these words out “I should've been with him, we should have died together but I didn't so I'm going to perform tonight, tomorrow, and everyday for him. I'm going to continue to live my life… for him!”
I look back at my mom and see her crying but a cry of not just pain but relief almost as though the relief is knowing her little girl is still alive. I look back at the crowd and the music starts to bounce off every wall. Bright colorful lights flash, warm fog rolls out everywhere, and my fans cheer as though it would be their last breaths.
Comments